6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
