i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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