I hope mine doesn't look like that
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
