we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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