And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
