Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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