you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
