let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is wine microwaveable?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
