why didn't you poke me back
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
