It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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