i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
