I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
