Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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