Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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