woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
