I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
