Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
