thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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