I think my fart just growled at me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
