i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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