it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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