Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The power of my boobs compel you
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
