i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
