I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize