hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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