i barfeds in our rink
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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