I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
