tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
