the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
