so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
