Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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