You're earring is so big in my mouth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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