Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
