How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
