I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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