but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
