Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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