so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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