never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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