We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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