the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
