Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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