were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
