She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My ass is underappreciated
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
