I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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