i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
