I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
