He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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