things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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