so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
