Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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