Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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