I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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