well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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