Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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