the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
