Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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