check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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