She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
