Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
