There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
