You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
