I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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