ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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