I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
MIDGETS
????
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I need water and some morals
I am mentally ready for anal.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
