i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you would pick up someone in the library
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i think i just lost a toe
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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