We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
